Ex Astris, Scientia (mrsvc) wrote,
Ex Astris, Scientia

Merry Christmas, klutzy_girl! Fic: No Shoes, No Shirt, and I Still Get Service (Danny/Steve, PG)

Title: No Shoes, No Shirt, and I Still Get Service
Author: mrsvc
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: It's their weekend, their weekend, and Steve still doesn't really know what to do with himself. 

Disclaimer: Do not own.
A/N: Merry Christmas klutzy_girl

Navy SEALs get trained for a lot of things, most of them classified and/or highly dangerous skills. Steve had devoted a large chunk of his life to classified and/or highly dangerous. He devoted so much of his life to it, in fact, that classified and highly dangerous was his life and domesticity and safety scared him. Not that he was going to let Danny know that.

"What do you mean you have no idea? This is a simple mission, Steve. You go to the store and you buy...?"


"What kind of noodles?" Danny wheedled further.

"Those little ones." Steve had learned that the appearance of confidence was better than nothing so he nodded solemnly and ignored the smack where Danny's head had met his hand.

"Babe, this is macaroni and cheese, not a Molotov cocktail. The little ones, he says. Elbow noodles, Steven, elbow noodles. What else do you need?"

Steve smiled, cocksure and not at all phased by Danny's antics. "Cheese."

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," Danny muttered. Gracie was coming over for their weekend, their weekend, and Steve still didn't quite know what to do with himself. His experiences with kids basically surmounted to invading their country under the cover of night and getting back out without disturbing a hair on their precious, little sleeping heads. The kid in the elevator should have been a clue to Danny at Steve's exact level of comfort with kids. Not that Gracie was just any kid, she was Danny's kid and that changed every rule in the book.

"It's macaroni and cheese, you need macaroni and you need cheese. I got this, Danno." He leaned over for a kiss, which Danny gave, the edges of a frown still on his face, and left to go to the store.

Steve was a Navy SEAL, okay? And that meant that, unlike Danny, he knew how to work his phone. He googled, at stoplights since it gave Danny mini-heart attacks when Steve texted and drove ("YOU ARE AN OFFICER OF THE LAW. THAT MEANS YOU SET THE EXAMPLE, HOWEVER RELUCTANT YOU MAY BE, AND YOU DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE"), the recipe for macaroni and cheese.

There for eleven thousand macaroni and cheese recipes.

Steve threw his phone down in the passenger seat. He wasn't panicking; he was extracting himself from the situation in order to calmly survey it and make a plan. He could hear it ringing and knew, someone in his core, that it was Danny.

Once inside the store, he stood in the middle of the pasta aisle with a basket in his hand and what he knew must have looked like a face of abject horror. A few of the customers hastily glances at his face and quickly vacated the area. A teenager in a wrinkled apron stood next to him for a long moment, his hands down in the wide pockets on the front.

"First time alone at the store?" he asked, tossing his long hair out of his eyes.

"What was I thinking?" Steve wondered. "There are, like, twenty brands of elbow noodles here."

"Just pick one, bro. She'll get over it."

"I'm not worried about her. Her dad's the scary one." Steve smirked, grabbing a box of some whole wheat, organic noodles. "You wouldn't happen to know how to make macaroni and cheese, would you?"

Once home, Danny tried to dig in his bags before he ever got to the kitchen. "Hey, hey, did you get the butter? You know you never have enough butter in this house."

"That's because I like my arteries, Danno. I like them open and functioning."

"It's because you are vain, Steve. Vain, vain, vain. You think that stupid 'Sexy and I know it' song is about you."

"Danny, how is it even possible that you know all of the worst music ever? Seriously."

Danny stopped rifling through his bags when he saw that Steve had managed to successfully buy all of the necessary ingredients for macaroni and cheese.  "You cheated," Danny accused.

"How does one cheat at grocery shopping? Huh?"

"You- You- I don't know, but you sure did. There's no way, no way."

Steve wrapped an arm around Danny's waist and kissed him on the cheek. "I just know how to use my resources."

"So you admit you cheated?" Danny sighed, leaning into Steve's embrace.

"I admit nothing. What time is Gracie coming?"

"Any minute." Danny pulled back and looked up at Steve. "You know, if you'd rather, I can... I don't know, take her out. You don't have to do this."

"What? And miss her telling embarrassing stories about you?"

"Steven," Danny sighed, far too knowing of Steve's weaknesses than Steve really should have been comfortable with.

"Okay, so, kids scare me. But this is Gracie. She can't be any worse than you."

The doorbell ringing broke them apart and Danny smirked as he sauntered over to answer it. "Oh, you don't know the little hurricane that's about to hit you, Steven. You don't even know."

Steve took a deep breath. The only easy day was yesterday, after all.

Tags: christmas presents 2011, danny/steve, fanfic, hawaii 5-0, omg slash and incest, television is serious business

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